Chapter Five: Jealousy or Hatred

            Buddi took his flute from his mouth and wondered. Ursa would normally have come and gotten him by now. But she still hadn’t come. It had been about two hours since he saw her. He was more curious about it than wanting her to come get him. So he got up and went to find her. He’d have to train again anyway and she’d be happier he came to her for a change.

            He heard her voice followed by the sound of a bow being released. Following, he wondered if she was practicing herself. She didn’t become as good a warrior as she was overnight. She was always seemed training or exercising. And when she wasn’t doing that, she was training him.

            Buddi crept out onto the courtyard expecting to see his mentor, practicing herself. But she wasn’t…at least not by herself.

            “Good, Missy!” the white furred girl smiled at the Barbic leader. She had offered to teach her to use a bow and Missy had accepted. Now although, she wasn’t that good, Ursa always commented her, always gave her encouragement. Buddi must have an easy time training were her thoughts but she kept them to herself.

            Buddi meanwhile was shocked.

            This girl got encouragement for doing WORSE than he’d done. Why? What was so special about her?

            An odd feeling began to surge through Buddi’s blood. It was so strong that it felt like hatred. He curled his hands into small fists that shook seemingly on their own. He felt his teeth grind together, again he felt like he had no control over it. It just happened.

            “Why her?”

            He could hear the two girls laughing, gossiping like…well, like girls. She’d never been like that around him although he’d never really wondered why. Now he did.

            He was a boy.

            That’s why Ursa was favoring her so. She was a girl.

            Buddi growled. Oh, how he’d like to slug her one. But he had more sense than that. Besides, she was older. She might have been a girl and not even a full Barbic but she was still older and as long as Buddi’s muscles were underdeveloped and latent, he knew that a few years difference could make a world of difference.

            He walked out into the courtyard and stood watching them.

            “Good shot, Missy.”

            Ursa helped the girl hold her bow up. Missy blushed.

            “I’m not that good.”

            Ursa shook her head. “Nonsense! If you put in a few hours’ practice every day and you’ll be great. One of the best warriors I know.”

            Missy shrugged. Ursa pitied her and she knew it. But it was nice. It felt good to have someone that cared enough to give her some encouragement. But Missy would never forget that every time Ursa got a chance, she’d tell her to aim as Buddi did. Or to practice as Buddi did. Missy smiled but shook her head at the memory. Ursa thought the world of that cub.

            Buddi watched the two and at Ursa’s words:

            If you put in a few hours practice every day, you’ll be great One of the best warriors I know

            Buddi’s eyes stopped seeing scenery and just saw the burning red of anger.

            He couldn’t stand it.

            He walked into the courtyard.

            “Can I join you?”

            Ursa looked surprised that he came on his own but nodded. She handed him his bow. He took it and stood next to Missy, his eyes blazing. But Missy either did not notice or did not mention it. That made Buddi all the more furious. Ursa stood aside, watching her two young pupils. One, alone in this world and the other, suddenly dedicated.

            “Go for it, you two.”

            Buddi pulled his arrow back and released. His arrow found its mark in the ring around the bullseye. Missy’s found hers in the second ring outside the bullseye. Buddi waited but Ursa said nothing. At least not to him. But Missy…oh! Ursa praised her like she had made a perfect bullseye from fifty feet away. Buddi tightened his grip on his bow.

            The two cubs fired again.

            Again, missy got praise.

            Buddi got silence and his rage grew. He was so angry he was surprised Ursa couldn’t see it. It felt like it would rise from him in a wave of heat.

            Buddi neared the bullseye at his next shot. This time Ursa spoke to him but it wasn’t what he expected.

            “Buddi? I told you hold your arrow by the feather.”

            “Oh, right. I knew that.”

            She looked at him critically. “Then do it.”

            He nodded and fired again. But his hands were shaking so it was off. He cursed to himself, under his breath. Ursa looked to Missy, who hit the center, right on.

            “Way to go, Missy!”

            Buddi couldn’t stand it anymore. Ursa went to move the targets back some. Buddi met Missy’s eyes and said,

            “Keep away from Ursa, hear me, hybrid?”

            Then, he stormed off, leaving Missy stunned, confused and pitying him.

* * *

            “Good job, Missy.” Ursa gave the girl a smile. “But you need to get some tips from Buddi. I taught him how to stand and how to hold it.”

            “Alright. I’ll do that. For now, do you have a spare room where I can stay tonight?”

            “Sure.”

            Ursa led the girl in and up into the room opposite of Buddi’s. Missy smiled.

            “Thanks.”

            Ursa gave her a smile and said, “and now I better go find that kid of mine.”

            Missy watched her until she left. She sat thinking.

            Buddi loved Ursa, Missy could tell that. And he meant everything to her. She talked about him nonstop. But Missy had seen the hatred in his eyes when he looked at her. She thought back. Ursa had pitied her. That was why she’d praised her so much. She would not normally have praised her but she had told her about her parents’ death.

            She sighed and got up.

            She had to find Buddi before Ursa.

            And make amends.

* * *

            “Well, there’s our fearless leader.”

            Ursa gave Grubbi a smile and grabbed a glass. She filled it with water and took a slip as Grubbi asked her,

            “Well, you didn’t come in for dinner. What’ve you been doing?”

            “I was showing Missy some stuff with the bow and arrows.”

            “Is she good?”

            Ursa shrugged, “Needs practice but I did comment more than I usually would. She lost her parents to humans. I guess I felt that comments were my way of comfort.”

            Grubbi nodded.

            “Was Buddi with you?”

            Ursa turned to him, shocked. “For a time, why? Where is he?”

            Grubbi shrugged. “I don’t know. But that explains it.”

            “What?”

            “You were favoring her.”

            “Yes, so…this has to do with Buddi? Where is he?”

            “I don’t know. All I know is that a few minutes ago, he stormed his way in here threw his bow into the far corner and stormed out. I’m worried about him, Ursa.”

            Ursa picked up her child’s bow. Caressing it, she cursed herself. She’d been so caught up with comforting Missy that she had cast Buddi’s feelings aside. She remembered now. That look in his eyes…that hidden pain. He was jealous. Why didn’t she notice? How could she have hurt him so carelessly?

            She turned to Grubbi and sighed,

            “I know where he is.”

            With that she walked out,

            To make her own amends.

* * *

            Buddi sat on the top of the old horn tower in Ursalia, simmering. He was angry but gradually that anger and jealousy dulled and became sorrow. He was sitting on the platform, hugging his legs. Tears had gathered in his eyes and threatened to spill out and onto his cheeks.

            For the first time in his short life, he truly felt second rate and useless.

            He felt like a burden.

            But the worst thing was:

            He felt that he had lost Ursa’s love.